


On Death and Rebirth

by The_Jashinist



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Major Original Character(s), Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2018-02-08 04:45:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1927092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Jashinist/pseuds/The_Jashinist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lot of people would say not to listen to anyone who might be even slightly obsessed with the Akatsuki would be ill-advised, and usually, Shikamaru would heed these warnings, and not get himself and Sakura caught in probably the most insane plot ever, thought up by an eccentric Konoha kunoichi who may or may not have a few screws loose, and involving five Akatsuki and quite possibly the worst string of bad ideas the world has ever seen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Death and Rebirth

A twig snapped underfoot, a nearby deer pricked its ear to the sound, but ignored it. Probably a fox far off, or a raccoon wandering around, there was enough rustling for it to be either.

Of course, the deer was probably picking up the talking in the distance as well, but it couldn’t actually decipher the hushed whispering as individual words, most of which belonged to the teenage girl with dirty blonde hair speaking to her friend, a lazy looking boy close to her age, a few yards away, in front of a large hole in the ground.

“So you’re saying you didn’t think this through completely?” the boy asked, partially exasperated.

“I said I skimmed the scroll, but can you really blame me?” the girl replied, “Tensei scrolls are boring.”

“I risked my hide for a technique you don’t even think worked?” the boy rubbed his temples, “Takari, don’t you _think_ before you do this kind of stuff?”

“Not really,” the girl, Takari, shook her head, “no. Shikamaru, let’s look at this objectively. Not matter if the technique worked or if it failed, we both have to ditch, bail, get out of Konoha, defect. You knew that when you agreed to help me with this.”

“If it failed there was no use to us even trying,” Shikamaru sighed, “it probably did, like you said, he’s not moving.”

“Maybe the technique killed him,” Takari jumped to her feet, “or maybe your stupid-ass rock idea is crushing him. His partner’s only a little ways away, if the technique worked of course, we can check if the technique worked on him.”

“I’d rather take my chances with the one relatively unlikely to kill the both of us,” Shikamaru made a quick glance back at the rock-filled hole. Takari opened her mouth to speak, but closed it as the rocks began to shift. She glanced between the shifting rocks and Shikamaru, flashing a devious and child-like smile.

“You owe me so much money now,” she jumped from foot to foot like an excited child.

“If I survive the inevitable murder attempt,” Shikamaru agreed, backing away from the ditch. A hand surfaced pushing away a large rock. Takari pulled the rock to the side and grabbed the hand, pulling the arm, and person, attached to it, from the ditch.

“You never told me he was cute,” she looked at Shikamaru.

“Do you really expect me to scan every enemy of mine for your aesthetic preferences?” Shikamaru asked, raising his eyebrow.

“But I’m your best friend,” Takari pouted, ignoring the panting man she’d just helped out of the ditch.

“Choji and Naruto are my best friends,” Shikamaru corrected, “you’re the ditz I happen to make poor decisions with, who should be smart enough to not make dangerous poor decisions.”

“Well look where that belief landed you,” Takari smiled goofily, “you should really stop listening to my half-baked plans Shikamaru; it’s not good for your health.”

“I didn’t notice,” Shikamaru sighed, “troublesome.” Takari looked down at the man.

“So what’s his name again?”

“Hidan.”

“That’s a stupid name.”

“You say that about every name.”

“Well Shikamaru is stupid, it means ‘deer circle.’ Who names their kid that?”

“My dad.”

“I’m losing faith in your clan’s ability to be adept strategists.”

“Right back at you Takahashi.”

“I have a name.”

“Wonderful, now will you stop fucking arguing and tell me where the fuck I am?” he man Shikamaru identified as Hidan suddenly interrupted, violet eyes flashing angrily.

“You’re in a forest,” Takari said bluntly, “Deer Circle over there buried you, I convinced him to let me use you for a little…experiment.”

“And I take it from your little skipping shit while I was digging my way out it worked?” Hidan growled.

“Yes.”

“Peachy, can I kill him now?”

“No.”

“Lovely, and who the fuck are you?”

“My name’s Takari.”

“I can deal with that. What was the experiment?”

“Can I just show him that one guy’s like, five feet away?” Takari looked to Shikamaru.

“Your funeral,” Shikamaru said.

“Asshole.”

“Blonde.”

“That’s not an insult, Ino’s blonde.”

“She’s not a blonde.”

“And I am?”

“You’re helping a mass murderer.”

“You are too.”

“Because you told me you’d pay me.”

“I did not.”

“Promising me that go board in your house counts as payment.”

“Fucker I said I’d play you, I never said you could have it.”

During this entire exchange, Hidan was looking about for something to wear before finding Takari’s cloak on the ground and wrapping himself in it.

“I know you two are relieving sexual tension,” he interrupted, “but your bitch girlfriend just used my chakra for God knows what, and personally, I’d like you know what it is.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Shikamaru said.

“In the words of Temari,” Takari sang, “as if I would ever. Come on then Hidan, this way, I’ll get you clothes as soon as I can.”

“Now would be preferable,” Hidan commented.

“Do you want to know why I needed your goddamn chakra or not dipshit?” Takari whirled around, blue eyes blazing in annoyance.

“Yes,” Hidan shrunk his neck in.

“Then shut your whore mouth and follow me,” Takari whirled around and kept walking.

* * *

 

Takari stared at the empty crater in confusion.

“He should’ve been right here,” she looked to Shikamaru.

“You said you sensed his chakra here before he came out of the ground, right?” Shikamaru clarified.

“Yeah,” Takari confirmed, “but I’ve only ever felt traces of his chakra from working in the morgue, and I’m not the best sensor anyway. If you wanted a good sensor, you should’ve asked Ino. I’m a medic and an elemental ninjutsu expert; you can’t expect me to exactly identify someone from the basic training all medics get in sensing techniques.”

“So who died in here?” Hidan interrupted, “I know you’re having a fucking crisis over there cupcake, but someone was in the crater recently, maybe a couple of minutes ago, tops.”

“Did you just call me cupcake?” Takari eyed Hidan in confusion.

“I call people names all the time,” Hidan shrugged, “besides; you’re compact, like a cupcake.”

“Can I slap him?” Takari asked.

“Later,” Shikamaru eyed the crater, “he’s right, someone was just here. Your hypothesis may have worked after all Takari.”

“Are you guys gonna tell me who was in the crater or am I just gonna be left in the dark?” Hidan groaned.

“How discreetly can you get at least pants fro this guy?” Shikamaru looked to Takari.

“Three people might notice me,” Takari reported, “tops.”

“Great,” Shikamaru gestured for her to go, “and to answer your question Hidan, it’s Kakuzu.”

* * *

 

Takari slid into the hospital room quietly, digging through the clothing bin marked ‘Deceased’ to find anything for that weirdo to wear.

“What on earth are you doing Takari?” Takari froze and glanced over to see Sakura standing in the doorway. The two barely knew each other, minus Takari being the person who would regularly play hooky during her shifts at Konoha Hospital to read in the library or, more recently, sleep in random craters around the Land of Fire. Sakura found very little tolerance for Takari’s avoidance of her actual job, especially after finding her fast asleep in the center of a ten kilometer crater on the border of the Land of Fire.

“Stuff,” Takari continued rummaging, pulling a pair of pants from the bin, followed by shoes, “tell me, if I happened to find someone, oh I don’t know, an escaped criminal. Would a red shirt be ill-advised?”

“That is the last thing you should be asking me while rummaging through dead people’s clothes,” Sakura sighed, “so who’d you find.”

“It’s not so much find as, I tried something and it actually worked,” Takari pulled a black tank top from the drawer, “this’ll work.”

“Is this thing you tried illegal?”

“Quite possibly. Don’t tell Misaki.”

“And why not?”

A scream ripped through the hospital, followed by yelling.

“Please tell me he didn’t find his way into the village,” Takari peered down the hall to see people running towards them, “he did, lovely, Sakura, please step inside the room and don’t try lecturing me about the stupid thing I just did.” Sakura looked down the hall and stepped into the room. Takari slammed the door shut and locked it.

“So this illegal thing,” Sakura crossed her arms, “it wouldn’t have to do with the three sightings of the deceased Akatsuki member that was partnered with the one buried in the Nara forest.”

“Change that to formerly buried,” Takari said, “oh wait, I do need a second pair of clothing, there was the one in the ten kilometer crater near the border. Hold these.” She dumped the clothing into Sakura’s arms and returned to the deceased bin.

“Please tell me this has nothing to do with the Akatsuki,” Sakura sighed.

“Dare to dream Sakura,” Takari looked to Sakura and grinned, “though strictly speaking, they’re not technically members anymore, they all died.”

“All?” Sakura glanced at the door.

“Yeah,” Takari nodded, “I wanted to see if I could pull off the technique that brings back the five closest people to you that have died, but with only a bit of my chakra. I tested it on the guy that was buried and it sort of worked, but it registered his chakra, not mine, and it brought back the five dead people closest to him. That I know of, the first four were Kakuzu, Deidara, Sasori, and Itachi.”

“And Shikamaru let you do this?” Sakura raised an eyebrow.

“Yep,” Takari nodded, “oh wait, it did register my chakra, anyone e brought back will consider me the person who brought me back and…head straight for me after a half-hour of free will.”

“Has it been a half-hour?” Sakura looked to the door.

“Yup.”

The doorknob shook rapidly, startling Takari.

“I have to get him out of Konoha,” she said quickly, “and find the other four; I don’t know who the fifth person is yet though. Sakura can you meet me at the ten kilometer crater? With clothing?”

“Wait, are you dragging ME into this?” Sakura asked.

“Considering the circumstances,” Takari looked to the door, then grabbed the clothes from Sakura and stuffed them in her bag, “I don’t have much of a choice. Listen, I know what I’m doing is crazy and illegal and highly dangerous, but if I ignore that this technique worked, we’re going to have a bloodbath in Konoha. Can you trust me?”

“What?” Sakura looked at the blonde in surprise, “I barely know you.”

“I know that!” Takari unlatched the window and opened it, “But just this once, even if you never have to see me again, can you trust me?”

“I can try,” Sakura said hesitantly.

“Great,” Takari leapt up onto the windowsill, “when I jump out this window, I want you to open that door.

“What?”

“Open the door. If he’s after me he’ll ignore you.”

“Are you sure that’s the best idea?”

“All I’ve got.”

Sakura put her hand on the latch, nodding to Takari to indicate she was ready. Takari leapt from the windowsill and into the alley below. Sakura snapped the latch to the side unlocking the door, and moved quickly out of the way as the door slammed open and a blackish blur followed her out the window.

**Author's Note:**

> ...I apologize for how quickly the first chapter happened, it's won't work like this anymore.


End file.
